Considering Camus

It would be so simple, I should think

To tip the glass and take a drink

And what would happen then, I wonder

Just what would be rent asunder?

In drunken stupor perchance a fall

Exquisite Oizys come to call?

Damned infernal curiosity!

Oh, why must you cry out to me?

Just a single simple quenching sip

Into the ethers I would slip

But what of those I would leave behind

Who’ll never see this act as kind?

That cup indeed is both harsh and grave

Yet the other side is all I crave

From that great vantage all I can see

Despite all those who’ll weep for me

Is lasting peace and restful slumber

Silent days of untold number

Plagued nevermore with unfettered thought

Nor left to own what others wrought

But this life-long fight at last will cease

It shan’t be long 'til sweet release

This is not the giving up of hope

It’s just another way to cope

For now I shall lay me down to sleep

I'll pray the Lord my soul to keep

But if I should die before I wake

I'll pray the Lord my soul to take

A Joy to Feast Again

Touch not the fading embers for a flame hides within
reaching out to grasp ahold you would only burn your hand
There is no roaring fire within the powdered ashen soot
nothing more than coals remain cooling in the morning breeze

But oh the happy memories of the dance, song, and feast
joyous time and merriment what wonderous gleeful fun
Yet all things pass as all things must despite our wishful hopes
on we go back home knowing we will soon be here again

Without that faithful knowledge my heart would be too heavy
so with gladness do I take my leave confident in trust
A day will come when we will be as we were once before
but if we go to different feasts then fare thee well, my friend

Wait for Me

Ask not for me to give to thee more than mine heart can bear
Pray thee wait in steadfast faith if such hope I can impart
Let trustful love spring naturally ere it doth foreswear
to bind itself with truest aim and fall into despair
for something riddled clouds such paths to doom it from the start

Slow determined force of will takes me forth into that breach
Just wait and hold thine earnest breath I will not disappoint
Believe thee now enough in me all fears and doubts impeach
else risk an everlasting loss thus thee I must beseech
unswerving leal give unto me as with thine kiss anoint

Twas not perchance I gave to thee such promises of mine
for my vulnerability takes time to manifest
So be thee not disheartened, dear, to thee I did consign
to care for what I freely give if thou wilt but incline
toward virtued patience evermore then shalt we both be blessed

Connected

I am alone. 
I am a drop of water fallen from heaven to the earth.
I lay in the soil lonely and waiting for time to change me
I become a drink for the thirsty tree, deer, butterfly
I become the unrelenting force splitting rock
I become enormous waves crashing upon shores
I fill up the world with all I am
I am the essence of all life
I am one with everything
I am connected
I am you
We will change the world.

----
Written for acclaimed director and filmmaker Katherine Brooks.  Follow her amazing journey as she turns 50 random Facebook friends into true connections: Face2Face.

Tapestry of My Life

Look there upon the stoney walls
 to stories which are told
leading into greater halls
 lay memories of old
Some well-lit; some in shadow
 o'er dusty cobwebs lay
all of them a symphony
brought to the light of day

See over here are too few threads
 and over there are more
glistening with golden glint
 they speak a telling lore
What history's displayed so well
 goes back through yesteryear
beautifully it shows a path
 all now made very clear

Pay no mind to fraying strings
 though tempting they may be
all the seeming unkempt parts
 are there specifically
Each and every single thread is
 but just a single part
desperation, pain, and hope
 Life's tapestry as art

Almost a Mother

I never got the chance to see you, to hold you, to see your smiles.
before I even knew it, you were both leaving me behind
Boys or girls - I'll never know - maybe one of each
by now you'd be so big and strong, it's hard to even imagine.

For years when I passed twins, my heart seemed to stop
Would you have been identical?  Would you have had my eyes, his mouth?
I was choosing names and reading about what to expect with you
when the pains started and I knew something was wrong

"You have to make a choice, and you have to make it soon" the doctor said
it seems so long ago sometimes.  Those words echo forever in my thoughts.
Could you have held on? Would you have made it?
Is my life worth what yours could have been?

How will I ever know if I made the right choice?
I have never cried for you. I'm afraid if I do I'll never stop.
I hope you can forgive me.  I know I cannot forgive myself.
One day I hope, against all hope, I will know you as you were meant to be.

After you I could never bring myself to want to carry another life
that is a loss I could not again bear to suffer.
Wherever you are, I promise I will one day be with you
I will one day hold you both and look upon your faces.

Until that day comes, I keep you in my heart
I will think of you and wonder whenever I get the chance.
For now, just rest my little darlings,
and play upon that rainbow bridge until I can finally follow.

Silken Serenity

Wherein doth lie 'neath silken sheets
 a hopeful promise dreamt
Faithful trust encourage thee
 to lover's tears preempt

"Nay, be thou not of weakened heart
 nor any doubting thought
Stave off thy most assured fears
 and be thou not distraught!"

No cup afore hath overrun
 with pureness from this spring
Thy waters which envelope me
 allow my soul to sing

Mentations flowing current strong
 ere morrow will disclose
Thine unmatched beauty's strength betwixt
 ethereal repose

Not long until thy stirring sounds
 call to my waiting ears
And lying down inside thine arms
 protected from the years

My lips will give the slightest smile
 drunken by thee like wine
My pain, my joy, and all I am
 what once was mine now thine

True Mirror

Through ebb and flow passed depth and height
Beyond morning's misty reach
Spectral shapes sojourn in shadows
Moonlight's hold to breach

A sound, a cry, a distant wail
A whipping freezing rain
And winter's fury beats upon us
Frozen solace lain

What does not kill us makes us strong
So somewhere I have read
I wonder if the words hold true
For the living dead

No weakness ever found me still
whilst stormy weather blew
But color seems a fading thing
In crypts devoid of hue

When comes my day to Resurrect
in afterlife's abode
Or is my strength yet hidden still
my path no traveled road?

"Arise!" I hear a voice call out
"Your life it waits here still,
Come, take my hand, and walk with me
This promise I fulfill."

"An image true, I am for you
I'll never lead astray
The trust and hope you place in me
Your fears I will allay."

I hear your voice and know it well
the oath you hand to me
Embracing you and it as well
My will at last is free

Split Apart No More

Our souls got tangled up last night
 I guess I held you too tightly in my dream - sorry.
While I watched you we got more and more entwined, I lost concentration. 
The color of your eyes.  The smell of your perfume.  Can you blame me?
Before I realized it we were hopelessly pretzeled.
I've been plotting a scheme to free my soul from its own grip
I had it all figured
But when I went to write it out I looked down and stopped my pen.
It was your hand - weird.
I rubbed my eyes and looked again - my hand.
I got up to splash water on my face, but when I looked in the mirror
it was your face.
I shook my head and looked again at me looking back at me.
When I sat to contemplate I closed my eyes and saw a revelation -
What I thought had been two entangled souls was one soul joining itself
Then I understood.  My soul is not my soul; nor is yours, well, yours.
They are one and the same - two halves of one whole.
This is why I no longer feel called to wander.
I guess I found what I didn't know I was looking for
and I think you've stopped waiting to take your life off hold.
I wonder how long we've been working toward each other?
We were alone  less than alone, really
Now we're together, we belong.
And we are greater than the sum of our parts.
It feels good to be home again - to be split apart no more.

Untitled

This is my soul's favorite time of year
 spring belongs to my heart; summer to the blissful memories of youth;
and fall belongs to the indulgence of my senses.
No, this cold dark season is my favorite
 for even when the sudden chill and fallen leaves create bleak images of death,
I find hope.
I rest in the assurance of my faith.
I revel in the knowledge of the season yet to come
 when my soul sings with Nature's newest children
What has been has been before
 and will be again
All things pass and become new
Every heartache, tear, and private agony will find its resurrection - its rebirth
  of unspeakable glory
For without the harsh winters of our lives
Spring would never be so welcome.
So let the cold winds blow; let the green turn to grey; and instill the lesson once more upon us
that there is so much more yet to come.

Wisdom's Declaration

Freedom has a price.  Often it is too high.
I wonder if those who can afford it ever find discrepancy in the balance.
Doesn't it seem ironic no one ever really knows
how to cut the ties which bind us to our own involuntary servitude?
We sit and ask for other pastures where the days are longer
and the flowers more colorful
But how often do we mow them over in our quest
for the greener pastures of our mundane lives?
Is one lot really that much better than the other?
Perhaps only that which springs forth from our earth is worth the time it takes to plant.
Whether our fruits of labor be tangible leads us to conclusions which we ignore
Somewhere someone is looking into the night sky
 to the same heavens Copernicus first gazed upon with wonder
The lone soul sits to ponder if somewhere someone
knows the answer to the uncomfortable questions,
but is too afraid to speak the words aloud.
What is it which looms above like The Sword of Damocles -
 unnamed, unseen, yet full of presence nonetheless?
The struggle continues for the liberty of the soul
against the internal captivity to the unsuspecting pitiful mind. Freedom is priceless.
It knows no wealth and respects no poverty.
To reach the underlying desires the heart must fly
beyond the limits wich have no power of their own.
A piercing look within is the only way to release the flyer in us all.
But is it worth the price?

Porcelain Me

Behind glass doors sits a porcelain doll
lovely and cunning in her pale mystique
Silk clothes hide the imperfections of her forming fires,
yet, her eyes betray no blemish
You cannot hold her for she is well-protected
by her own will or for her own good?
Guards rush to her side if she is moved
she stands, motionless, as when she first arrived
Neither dust nor hateful sunlight penetrate her fortress
nor can tiny creatures gnaw a way inside.
She is perfect
  imperfect
    flawless to the eye
But no one will ever know
for she stands against Time
behind glass doors.

Untitled

If my heart is a flower
 you are the fragrance
If my life is a song
 you are the melody
If my love is a river
 you are the current
If my soul is a page
 you are the pen

Untitled

I watch as clouds lie down to sleep
and I wonder how it must feel to be their pillow -
 just as Romeo wished to be a glove upon the hand of his beloved
And I? I wish to be the blanket you hold close to enfold you
as you drift into honey dreams.
I wish to be the air you breathe
 filling up your body - making you whole.
I wish to be all I am not so I can be all you need.
You are beauty and innocence;
joy and wonder
You are everything making all the sorrow worth all the pain
Because through you all good comes to light.
You are my soul and spirit
You are my beloved